I have been into spiritual study and pursuit for 20 years: everything from The Bhagavad Gita to Wayne Dyer and all world religions. It was the medicine I needed to prepare for my mother's passing due to cancer in 2004 when I was 21, and to heal my deeply seeded ancestral wound of lack of worth. Learning to see life through the lens of the spirit/soul/higher self is the medicine we ALL need to experience more freedom, joy, peace, purpose, soul-fulfillment and gratitude. Shifting into the eternal delivered eternal freedom to me.
As it often goes, although I had LOADS of spiritual knowledge by the time I was 34, I wasn't using any of it, and I was miserable. Stuck in the hustle and grind culture of the United States, running a business I hated in order to pay the bills for a life I didn't love, overwhelmed by small children that I couldn't give my best to, etc. I was embedded with resentment. Life was not supposed to look this way.
It's true that we don't change until we get REALLY sick of our own bullshit, but we do have to be able to see our bullshit first. Whether it was the hormone therapy I had begun three months earlier or just a shift in consciousness, I woke up again (metaphorically) in 2018 at the age of 35. I remembered my power as a creator and I begun to change my mind about my life.
I became a spiritual warrior, halting negative thoughts and flipping them into gratitude. I cared only for my vibration and did everything I could in my mind to maintain an optimistic attitude and foster gratitude for everything I had. There's ALWAYS another way to look at every situation that makes us feel better. Did I have moments of break-down? Most certainly. Did I sometimes get triggered and yell and scream and then take the car and leave? Yup. Did I keep trying? Damn right I did.
I wasn't willing to settle for the life I had, as good as it looked on paper. People didn't believe that I was in survival mode, but I was: I was just surviving, terrible coping mechanisms and all. I wasn't willing to raise my children in an environment where I didn't have time for them, couldn't appreciate them, and felt annoyed by them more than anything. I was not doing it.
And you know, after 3 months of listening DAILY to Abraham Hicks, of keeping guard of my mind and kicking out the thoughts that would poison me, I became happier. I started a second business (because we were broke), and worked running TWO 7-day/week businesses while trying to heal my mind and my relationship with my family. I was even busier than I used to be but I experienced more happiness. My mind had changed and with it my experience of life shifted.
I got it into my head that I would return to my passion of surfing by manifesting living part-time in a Spanish speaking surf town. I knew that I could create at least a version of anything that I wanted, so I started creating an energetic reality where I lived on the beach.
Every time I became stressed out or triggered by the absolute insanity that was my life I would stop myself from spinning into darkness and I would transport myself mentally and energetically to the beach where a version of me was living the life of my dreams. I experienced it before it happened. It calmed me down and kept me focused on gratitude. I felt at ease, even in the chaos of the present.
I required one more breakdown in June of 2019 before I was ready to make the blind leap. That night, I smashed my brand new iPhone on the kitchen floor because I couldn't handle the ringing anymore. I was trying to get dinner ready, my kids were at my feet, my husband talking to me, and I couldn't even think, let alone do anything explode. My should made it VERY clear that I was done. I wasn't doing life like that anymore.
Even though we were not financially ready, I told my husband that I was done and I decided that we were leaving for a tropical surf town somewhere in the world for a few months that winter. We didn't have the money, we didn't have systems for our businesses, but I didn't care. I was willing to sacrifice all financial certainty for the chance for freedom and happiness.
Two weeks after we arrived in Costa Rica in February of 2020 the whole world shut down due to COVID and we stayed. And we are still here.
There's so much more to the story, and much of the rest of the story have become my teachings. I have experienced the power of the mind, I have followed my heart blindly, and I've been gifted with more abundance than money could every buy.
It's your turn, dear reader. Where are you ready for more? What else do you want in your life? What do you want to create? How do you want to spend your time? Because, although it doesn't look like it, it's up to you. When you learn the art of directing your consciousness around what you want, all the physical details fill in on their own.
Leap, the net appears. Trust the journey.
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